


You. (A collection of short drabbles)

by spencereatsworms



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21856375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spencereatsworms/pseuds/spencereatsworms
Summary: just a bunch of short drabbles that I did when I was basically having a breakdown. Also includes an unfinished short story about me and unrequited love
Kudos: 1





	1. me and changing

The sour taste in my mouth, the greasy strands of hair, the smeared glasses covering sunken eyes and glassy stares, the pink chapped lips made moist by my spit, my freckled but chubby cheeks, my fat fingers but skinny hands, my long legs that make up most of me. That's me. Every single part is me, the cons and the pros, and there's nothing I can do to change them. And currently, I don't want to change anything, but I have wanted to before. The first time I ever wanted to change me was in elementary school. I got bullied a lot in the 3rd grade and that made me hate myself, made we want to not be me, to not have my cons. I eventually stopped getting bullied in the 5th grade because I found new friends, but even with new friends, I couldn't get rid of my self-hatred which ultimately affected how I grew up and who I am today. But now as a sophomore in high school, although I haven't entirely learned to love myself, I have learned to love my body. Sure I sometimes have times where I hate my body like today where I couldn't even change clothes because I hated my body. But my body is not the main problem I have with myself. It's me, my personality, the way I act. That's the only thing I would change about myself. Because currently, I am a pathetic, needy, sack of shit. 


	2. Me and You

Its 1 A.M. and all I can think about is you. Because you're everything. The song that's playing is you, the bed i'm lying on is you, the rain outside is you, the house that i'm in is you, the city is you, this state is you, this fucking country is you. I am you, and I don't know how to stop being you. Because if i'm not you, then who am I? A loser? A sack of shit that doesn't deserve anybody? Or am I just me? The me before you, and nothing else. I never meant to become you. It was an accident. Something that just happened. I only realized that i was you because once you were gone i realized that it was like i didn't exist anymore. But even though i was you, you were never me. You were her. She consumed you until you were only a shell of who you once were. I was the only reminder of you. The actual you, and i guess love can change you. Make you become someone you swore you'd never think you'd be. I never though i'd be you. But i am. I am you because i am still in love with you. Its repressed feelings, that made me attached to you, and yearn for you. But i know you don't feel that way about me. You never have. You've only felt those sorts of feelings towards her. God i wish i was her. God i wish you fell for me like you fell for her. i wish you loved me. But what the fuck is wishing gonna do for me now. You're gone. Never to talk or look or even fucking breathe in my direction again. All because i was being selfish when you were going through shit. All because i could only care about my feelings at that point. All because i knew i couldn't tell you i was still in love with you. Couldn't tell you that I've been in love with you for 4 fucking years now. I've been in love with since before i even knew what love was. But even when you said you loved me i knew you didn't cause you constantly talked about him. Even after him it was her. It was never me. Why wasn't it me? Why?

**Author's Note:**

> aight don't know if anyone will actually read this but if you do ty!!! umm yall can follow me on tumblr (honeyy-frogg) although I don't post. you can also follow me on Instagram (dianaeatsworms) but again ty for reading <33


End file.
